faradah

faradah

Travel

I have travelled quite abit, almost every year. But thinking back at all the trips that I have went... they never seem to stick by my memory. Somehow or another they slide away. After all the thinking, I have figured it all out. It is not the disciplined, orderly, well planned trips that stay in our memory but those impromptu crazy moments of a trip that stays in the hearts. It seems like I have just only travelled for the first time, because I was myself throughout the whole trip. My true self. No mask, no faking. I was me. It was so alive to be me & doing what I want to do without thinking much.

Sydney trip was definitely one of those. It's been 3 months but i m missing the place & the time sent there, like a lot.

Running down George street in he drenching rain without umbrella & trying to read the map while finding for the museums. 

Buying an umbrella for $10!

Climbing to the tip of the rock formation(which was shaking) just to take some photos n selfies

Roaming around the streets

Running n running n running to catch the bus, always

Cooking meals together as cousins

Kineck dance off

Topping up the opal card everyday!!!!!

Going to coles to shop just for fun, everyday!

Mistaking hand soap as hand sanitiser

Watching fireworks this beautiful n this close. They just make me go head over heels. It was magic.

Climbing onto all the boats to take photo at the museum

Talking for like hours n changing sides every hour n disturbing fellow flight passengers during the flight back to Singapore

Side note: suddenly i have forgotten to write informally.

Faradah <3

Why does my heart always feel so heavy whenever i hear that you might go far away from me.
Why does my heart become so restless at the mere thought that u wont be there
Why does my heart recognise all your happiness and sorrow when no words are exchanged
Why does my heart feel so excited, anxious, nervous to see u.
Why does my heart feel so happy n peaceful n at ease when u r near
Why does my heart always find u even before my eyes.
Why does my heart just want u even after all these years.

This is no passing phase. This feeling never seem to have passed by...

Agar tum saath ho....

Hatred.

I hate them.

Memories.

MEMORIES

Once upon a time there born this baby girl. She was the apple of every ones eye,particularly to 2 people who showered her unconditional love. Life meant waking up @ 4am to wait for them to pray. Then along w her younger bro to make chappati & go back to slp at 6am. Waking up was at 8am to wait for him to wear the blue uniform n leave for work. Then peeping through the grill to wave byebye from above. Then bathing, after waking up was a daily routine. A walk to the market... passing the mrt station which still stands at the same place. By the time marketting is done it would b late morning. Breakfast was how it was meant to be... lontong, mee rebus were the best with her by the side. After breakfast was cartoon time. Jumping around the sofa or sitting in the toilet n talking to her, while lunch was being cooked. The toilet was the most loved spot in the house for some unexplained reason.  Then lunch n afternoon nap time. & evening would have arrived. Tea time. He would return home. Sip his tea n read the straits times while a slip or two would b stole from the cup. Tv will b running. Prayer time. & a bit of study time. Dinner would then come! Dinner meant eating very little from your own plate n being fed by everyone at home. After dinner was news. Some times, there were late night horror movies, chucky was one. Then it was bed time. He on the right. Hugging a huge bolster they shared. & she to the left, hugging & the younger bro beside her. That was life!

Those days when sleep came peacefully. Each day was looked forward to. Love meant them & unconditional. Crying meant being stubborn for something u want. Hurt meant falling down. Special meant getting whatever one wanted. Life meant the way it was suppose to be....

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I never knew I had written this some time back last year. But no harm sharing this here i guess.

Well, tomorrow is 13 april. 17years it has passed. I can still vividly remember the things that had happened. Vomitting continuously, crying and rolling in pain all around the kitchen. Person X conveniently saying that she has lost or thrown away the only solution to the problem. & Person L decides to go and get the solution from another far away place, despite her condition. 

&& Person Y, cries for the first time cause of his helplessness of not being there due to his trip. & after the whole episode passes, the first thing person Y attends to upon landing is me. Worrying, questioning, & contemplating if anything can be done to make the situation better for the future.

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Passed 2 days r full of bad news.

Anger. sorrow. confusion. uncertainty. tears.

Hope the week gets better! 

Roller coaster

Blogging after so long.... Feeling very irritated due to a series of events.

Just can't make anyone seem to understand at all. Is it that they don't bother or am i the one at fault? Can't even seem to voice out my feels for some reason or more. Going through an emotional rollercoaster.

Once i have made up my mind, that is it. Nothing is going to change my decision.

Afterall, the heart knows what the mind is trying to hide!

Crisis

There seems to b a clash of reality n expectation. When reality is not met up to expectations, always there would arise problems. What about a situation when problems n expectations r poles apart? That marks crisis... a downfall. The sad fact of like is that this clash between reality n expectation is everywhere in a person's life. EVERY WHERE.
1. In relationships, with
1a. Parent
1b. Siblings (cousins inclusive)
1c. Grandparents
1d. Uncle - Aunty
1e. Friend
1f. Spouse (bf-gf inclusive)
1g. Children (if u happen to have)
1h. In laws
1i. Relatives (people who claim to be related to u & have so much to say about u, yet at some case might nt even know your name or have seen them only in weddings)
1j. Society (consisting of every other person to whom u wld b a topic of discussion till the next arrives)
1klmnopqrstuvwxyz
2. Career
3. Education
4. Money
5. Life
Every where expectations exit.
This journey is filled with the battle btween expectation n reality.

Hello, kinda lost as to what to blog. Shall update when i get a proper thought as to what i can blog about.

Money

somehow, when a person has money, everyone remembers them/'cares' for them/ is 'always there' for them/ is with them...

when the tables turn,
does the same thing happen?

Yes, we have to admit the truth. ALMOST ALL relationship in today's world is valued by money. When u have the money, one is respected, dignified and at some case, even worshiped. & when that very same person has no money, they become despised, a burden & a useless forgotten being. That is how things are functioning in these days. The moment you taste the pleasure of money, it overrides you... overrides your needs from your wants... overrides your life. However much you hold on the the belief that you will not change, money does change a person. 

Love

நான் என்னைக் காணாமல் தினம் உன்னைத் தேடினேன். என் கண்ணீர் துளியில் நமக்காக ஒரு மாலை சூடினேன்.

இமைகளிலே கணவுகளை விதைத்தேனே...
ரகசியமாய் நீரூற்றி வளர்த்தேனே..
இங்கு வெரும் காற்றிளே நன் விரல் நீட்டினேன்,
உன் கையேடுக் கைச் சேரத்தான்
உன் உறவும் இல்லை, என் நிழலும் இல்லை...
இனி என் காதல் தொலைதூரம் தான்.

நான் சாம்பல் ஆனாலும் என் காதல் வாழுமே, அந்த சாம்பல் மீதும் உனக்காக சிறுப் பூக்கள் பூக்குமே...

உன் பாதை இது, என் பயணம் அது, பனிதிரை ஒன்று மறைக்கின்றது...
ஏன் இந்த சாபங்கள்?
நாம் பாவம் இல்லையா... விதி கண்ணம்பூசி வினையாட்டி நாம் காதல் பொம்மையா?